Sub Conscious: Just Curious, Thank You

i'm hopeless. there is this domme who has been in my life for several years whom i can't stop thinking about. she knows i love her. she knows i view myself as belonging to her. and she is my domme in many dimensions. but despite all my fawning emails, i don't think she understands how hopelessly i belong to her. in fact i know she doesn't. she's jaded by other men she's met and has 'learned' they can't be trusted to mean what they say. yet, she could pretty much tell me to jump off a cliff and i would.

most of you wouldn't get that. you, quite understandably, believe in equality in relationships. the reason i know that is, but for this one person in my life, that is how i feel about the other 6.7 million people on this planet. moreover, i know that whenever i hear somebody else say they belong to somebody, i think "right... tone it down a few notches and i might come close to believing you."

but i'm curious about all of you who wouldn't say that about someone. at least not in the way i mean it. do you ever have even a yearning in that direction? do you ever wonder what it would be like to submit your will to that of another person? not to give up who you are, but to know you want to live outside yourself, according to the will of another person? does that thought not only resonate with you, but maybe even get you hot?

if you're now honestly saying "to live according to the will of another person is the same as giving up who you are" then your emphatic answer to me is "no". but if you get the difference, if you get that being who you are might involve submitting to the will of another person, even if they aren't perfect, then my next question is, "do you ever explore that feeling?" do you ever wonder where it will take you? or are you too scared to explore it?

if you are scared, you are in very good company. i'm often scared. it means not being in control, and that alone is scary in this world. but if it's possibly who you are, then maybe you owe it to yourself to explore it. (very safely, please! write me if you don't know how to explore those feelings safely.) you might find that hopelessly belonging to the right someone brings clarity and beauty to your life.